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Monday, February 8, 2016

none but Jesus isn't a romantic notion

I remember feeling my heart dropping.
I remember thinking it wasn't enough.
And I remember blaming God.

I thought you wanted us here, God.
I thought you were the God of more-than-enough, God.
I thought you were going to provide, God.

Because I've been praying since before we got here that you'd give us more than enough. Because I believed you were going to pour your blessings unto us until we overflowed. Because I put you on a pedestal, and now I'm standing here with nothing.

Nothing.

Nothing but you. And seeing as I'm here, broke as ever after I asked for more than enough, I can't say I want nothing but you. We have kids to clothe and feed, bills to pay, and a car to fuel. We need money, not Jesus.

Right?

So I'd rather have something--oh, and you.

There was a secret God taught me in those moments of despair: God won't fight for us until we let Him fight for us.

In those moments when it looks like God has failed us, we've really failed ourselves--and only just realized it. We look to God and blame Him for failing us when really He's been tagging along on our foolish escapades.

In those moments when it looks like God has failed us, we have the choice to believe He has--or the choice to believe we haven't yet let Him fight on our behalf.

How many times have you asked God to provide in abundance? And how many times have you shaken your head in disappointment because He hasn't?

Yet--
We have food on our shelves,
Clothing in our closets,
Money in our bank accounts--

Is this not abundance?

You tell me.

"I took my troubles to the LORD; I cried out to him, and he answered my prayer" Psalm 120:1 NLT.

humbly,