Tuesday, November 24, 2015

mommy needs a time-out

Today was one of those days you don't like to admit you have.

One of those days when you punish your kids out of anger...
...when you let the TV watch the kids...
...when you catch yourself making pathetic excuses for your inexcusable behavior.

One of those days.

It wasn't the first time I said it, but it was the first time I actually heard the words leaving my mouth: "It's because I haven't had my quiet time today."

I was frustrated with Madeline and fuming when that thought popped up. And though I've said it many times before, this time the Spirit didn't let me off the hook.

Of course I need time with God every day. But whether or not I had quiet time with God that day, I was still in control of the decisions I made. And I had made poor decisions.

My excuse was unacceptable.

After some thought, I realized that my failure to honor God through my parenting came from my failure to recognize the battleground: my heart.

For some reason, I thought: quiet time = victorious living. But in reality: clinging to God = victorious living.

I thought I needed my quiet time in order overcome the enemy. (I don't.)
I thought my quiet time set the tone for my day. (It doesn't.)
I thought that if I had my quiet time I would be a God-glorifying machine. (Yeah...no.)
I thought I had it all figured out. (Nope.)

The truth is:
I need God in order to overcome the enemy.
My attitude towards God sets the tone for my day.
My weakness and reliance on God brings Him glory.
And I definitely don't have very much figured out.

Today I am humbled and reminded that I struggle to connect what I know with how I live. My consistency with morning devotions means nothing if I'm relying on a practice and not my God to save me.

How fitting it was, then, that the God-honoring quality I wanted to write about tonight had to do with prayer. Because prayer means I need God--and not myself--to intervene.

To be a mom who prays without ceasing. Who, from morning devotions through to bed-time prayer, relies on God's power to get her through.

So she prays all day long. When the kids spill milk all over the floor she asks for grace. When she's stuck in traffic she asks for kindness. When there's a hole in the trash bag and nasty garbage is stuck to the bottom of the bin and everything smells. She asks for the heart of a servant.

Let us never underestimate our inability and God's grace.

Let us pray for everything, believing God to be true when He says He cares about it all.

Let us discover the sweetest victory there is through Jesus Christ.

with much love,